Love, Mom.
Today is the 11th anniversary of my mom’s passing.
I honestly cannot believe I made it eleven years without her here to guide me.
The good memories I do have, have served as a beacon. Guiding me in a positive direction. However, sometimes I feel like I’ve lost my way.
A friend told me this morning, she felt my parents had a message for me. The message was “they want you to know that anything you choose for your life, if it makes you happy, it makes them happy for you.”
This slideshow is a portion of what played after my mom’s funeral. I remember putting it together when I was in a grief fog, it was like I was watching myself scan the photos.
Corrine Bailey Rae, one of my mom and I’s favorite artists, is playing in the background of the slideshow above.
I find the lyrics very relatable to how I oftentimes feel looking at photographs. “In my mother's house, There was happiness, I wrapped my myself in it, Was my chrysalis.” She kept me safe as I was going through life, I felt snug as a bug. Comfortable, cozy, warm. When my mom passed I was struck hard by the world around me. “She got much to learn, get her fingers burned.” I no longer had my chrysalis to keep me safe. Whether I liked it or not, I was out of my chrysalis, vulnerable, exposed, “wary of the world.”
She gave me life, then I watched her “fly away like a butterfly.”
Butterfly by Corrine Bailey Rae
In my mother's house
There's a photograph
Of a day gone past
Always makes me laugh
There's a little girl
Wary of the world
She got much to learn
Get her fingers burned
An infinity
Between you and me
Because we're family, yeah
Said that I'd be fine
Give me all your time
And I left your side
Like a butterfly
Shower me with your love
All of everyday
You make the milk of
Sunshine on me, yeah
Lift me up so high
Watch me fly away
Would you give your life
Like a butterfly?
In my mother's house
There was happiness
I wrapped my myself in it
Was my chrysalis
As my life unfolds
See a pattern through
Of you protecting me
And I protecting you
What was I to say?
Make your own mistakes
And when you woke
Made sure that you remained the same
Now I realize
What was on your mind
When I left your side
Like a butterfly
Shower me with your love
All of everyday
You make the milk of
Sunshine on me, yeah
Lift me up so high
Watch me fly away
And give me a life
Like a butterfly
Hey, shower me, yeah
Shower me with your love
All of everyday
You make the milk of
Sunshine on me, yeah
Lift me up so high
Watch me fly away
And to give me life
Like a butterfly
